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Readers Respond: How Do You Deal with Empty Nest Blues?

Responses: 14

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Children off to college? Leaving the nest? How did you cope with the empty nest blues? Share your best tips here... Share Your Best Tips

Only child moving hours away

My only child, 23 year old daughter, has been on her own for a year but living in the same town. We talk and text all the time and meet for meals a couple of times a week. Now she is moving several hours away as the cost of living is cheaper. She will also be living across the street from her Dad who moved away many years ago. I am panicky and cry all the time. She will be working weekends and I work weekdays so visiting will be tough. I would like to find an online support group. Does anyone have any suggestions? Thank you so much
—KimBierce

Keep praying that bring joy and peace

Hi everyone who are going through this empty nest blues. It is really a hardest task to keep me busy now when I am going through these blues. The best thing is that we can share our blues to each other and feel that we are not alone. I can learn the ways to keep myself happy and wait for my memories to come back one day in the form of my grandchildren. That hope will keep me moving forward and doing things for them. so keep praying and find hobbies that bring joy and peace in you.
—Guest sadia

New/really empty nest

Newly divorced and kids are also leaving for college out of state. I just bought a new home and it's empty! Talk about empty nest... Anyone else out there who has "been there done that" and have some survival/thriving tips to share?
—Guest L

We are in it together.

My last child is due to Graduate and leave for college soon. Keeping busy with work. Check. Keeping busy with volunteer commitments. Check. Better than par relationship with spouse. Check. Strong ties with friends. Check. Out of control - and without warning - crying fits. Not in check. Figured it out today; just let the emotions roll and hand out a flyer that explains you are a 'soon to be empty nester'. It gives a Free Pass for crying and you get the endorphins "in check" at the same time.
—Guest Short One

It happens to the men, too

My two sons just moved out, starting their own lives; my daughter leaves this summer. They're all through college, and I too know I've invested too much in their lives and not enough in my own, but it's hard to be the "strong" father figure when it feels like my life is ending. I want them to succeed, and couldn't be prouder, but at the same time, I already feel an emptiness I have no idea how to fill. So ladies, remember that the fathers feel this, too, and often can't open up about it. I know, because I'm there.
—Guest A Guy

stay busy

my 19yr old moved out this past may - i've shed the tears (stll get weepy now and than) but over all i am so proud of him.. he did not move to far away - about a 30 min drive - so i still get to see him 3-4 times a week.. for dinner or just to hang out a bit.. and he still comes to dad for car care advice and what not.. so it has not been 2 horrible.. but he's my only baby and there is a sense of loss.. hubby and i have been putting more effort into romance and fun.. things that get set aside to often when there's a kid at home... so i am coping... we have already painted and fixed up his room -- it's our hobby room now.. so my best advice is stay busy - connect or reconnect with loved ones.. let your 'baby' know you are there to listen and/or help if possible but you are no longer available 24/7.. and i try really hard to not 'tell him what he should do' just offer ideas.. so i am in the middle of this adventure.. and it's been a rollercoaster of emotion....
—Guest tmr

may

having 4 kids and divorced gave me a reason to start another milestone in my life...buying my own place, cannot wait to go dancing without worrying about anyone ! worry about me not everybody else.
—Guest may manuel

I'm not a parent but have siblings

Talking with them is nice, spending time with the family is always good. It's nice to come home for summer hoildays and winter ones are alway nice to look forward to. lots of pictures.
—Guest gitoya

Empty Nest Filler

A friend told me I needed to do something just for me - something that didn't directly benefit anyone else. Since I'd spent the past 20+ years only taking care of others, this was a hard task. It took 6 months for me to even think of something. I finally decided that maybe, just maybe, I'd always wanted to paint. My last child graduated high school 2 weeks ago and this summer I'll be opening my own art gallery featuring my own work. For years I did what was required and expected. Now I'm taking care of myself and finding that in doing so I'm setting the best possible example for my now adult children.
—Guest Karen

Author smarter chick lit

My nest if 4 children emptied when I was 44. The best thing that happened was that I could write and write novels, my lifetime dream. The worst thing is that I still miss them terribly. It often consumes me. They all live far away. We talk often but I am jealous of friends and siblings who have kids at home. People say, "at least your kids all have jobs etc." that only brings some comfort. Everyone has an, "at least you have (fill in the blank). I know that my life is too wrapped up in them, especially my daughter, I just made a call for counseling. I just realized this, that I need to let go.
—Guest Dianne

Scared & Lonely Already

My daughter & best friend is leaving for college in 6 weeks. I want to hold on to her & tell her don't go...but everyone tell me I can't. They also tell me I need to find something new & exciting things to do. I don't even know what that might be...I know I need help to get through this but I can't even get started..
—Guest Kathey

Getting over the blues

Hey I'm a mother too. We just need to get over it. Go to the local college and see what kind of classes are available for adults, start a new hobby. It's fun then becomes part of your normal life.
—Guest Jess

Dealing with Empty Nest

When my daughter left for the East Coast I threw myself into work but with balance. I started a new profession teaching at night and connecting with college students her age. Somehow working with students that were my daughter's age, gave me some connection to be still nurturing but still seeing how other children coped in college. I also got in touch with God more spiritually by joining a bible study which helped me to connect more with others and God. I have been so busy but I still miss her. I thought I was going to get so depressed I bought myself this expensive program to deal with depression to get ready for the onslaught and it never happened!!! I wish the best for you. Take care!
—Guest catjama

No tips

I'm 50 and I have 3 daughters ages 16,18,and 22. Being divorced, I spent tons of time raising them. My oldest has been in and out of college, but currently home. My empty nest syndrome is more missing the days when they were small and really needed me, and all the amazing fun we had. It's very depressing and I don't know how to get over it,but I'm trying to get busier with my own life,but I don't really know how.
—crhetrick

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How Do You Deal with Empty Nest Blues?

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